Is That Really Me?

I'm not who you think I am.  I'm filled with anger, resentment and jealousy.  I talk behind your back.  I most likely make fun of you.  I'm a manipulator, schemer and deceiver.  I gossip way too much.  I've lied to you on more than one occasion.  I get annoyed very easily.  I overanalyze your every word and action.  I always assume you have ulterior motives.  I think the worst of you.  I hold grudges.  I hate your unfairness.  I don't listen to you all the time.  I tend to give you horrible advice.  I'm disgusted with myself.

Unfortunately, that's who I really am for the time being.  And the "you" I was referring to is just that....you; friends and family. 

All of this came to the surface because one of my "schemes" bit me in the ass yesterday, hence the Not the Greatest entry.  It sucks when someone calls you out on something you did or said because that completely affects your character.  It reminds me of the game Chutes and Ladders.  You work so hard to climb up those ladders then all of a sudden you stumble upon one chute and you're sliding all the way down near the bottom.  It sucks!

Thankfully, the best part of noticing your character flaw is that you can change it!  Now that I, along with everyone else, know my real disgusting self, I can change for the better; to become Christ-like.  Hopefully in due time, I won't even know that person I described above. 

So, for starters, please forgive me!  I am so sorry I have treated you this way.  Please know that I do love you and I want nothing but the best for you.  All of you have enriched my life with your love and friendship.  I will do my best to return the blessing.  Thank you for your patience and understanding.

Love,
The New Brooke                 

Not the Greatest

Today was not the greatest day for me.  It felt as if anyone I came into contact with gave me bad news of some sort.  I've been feeling sick to my stomach all day.  There was a moment (that lasted 2 hours) where I wanted to curl up in a corner and just cry all day.  Being at work prohibited me from doing just that.  I can't really go into detail but today just sucked big time.

On a brighter note, watching videos and viewing pictures of my son made me feel a lot better!  Here's what helped me get through the day (along with continuous prayer)....

 

Don't Call It A Comeback

It is 11:30 p.m. right now and I am happy to report that I made it to the Finals in our Fantasy Football league!  Don't call it a comeback 'cause I've been here for years!  Now it's down to me (Sore Loser) and another woman (Ho Zone).  So wish me luck....Mama's gotta get a new pair of shoes!

This weekend has been a tad bit busy.  Friday, I had the day off so I tried to get some Christmas shopping done.  Let me tell you how disappointed I was when I came home with just a box of diapers.  I got fed up with people.  Driving was a complete nightmare and customers were just flat out rude in the stores.  Saturday, Eric, Greg and Grandpa put in a screen door in the front of the house.  Also, Jeff (Eric's dad) got into town!  We all went out to eat last night at Hooters....gotta love their 007 wings!  This morning, we went to Golden Bear for breakfast then for the rest of the afternoon, I was watching my team beat the other girl's bootahtay in Fantasy Football!  Maria (Jeff's wife) got into town today as well.  So tonight, we had our gift exchange. 

I have some funny videos of Gavin's blooming personality and I'll post them when I'm more awake.  Good night for now and remember to cheer for the Sore Loser next week! 

Slacker or Just Being Careful?

Yesterday marked two weeks of not working out!  It's killing me to let you all think that I'm this super P90X woman but I'm not.  I stopped because my lower back pain was getting worse. 

Thankfully, it's completely healed.  I could start P90X again but let's be honest I'm not going to.  We have family in town this weekend.  Christmas next week and the New Year after that.  So my new commitment to P90X will begin January 1st....along with everyone else who made working out a New Year's Resolution! :)

That's all I got for today....

Views from a Toddler

Gavin has been using my small camera lately.  I'd like to think that he loves to take pictures and will have an artistic eye when he gets older.  But it's most likely because he likes the sound the camera makes after he pushes all the buttons....

Lunch Breaking News

Hello all!  I'm writing you during my lunch break to let you know of a little scare we had last night.....

First of all, I'm not one to admit that I'm getting sick but I will tell you that I'm fighting back with all I've got!  I'm doing my usual remedies for upcoming sickness which is overdosing on vitamin C and gargling with mouthwash at least 3 times a day.  All that's wrong now is my nose running.  Other than that, no sore throat and no aches or pains. 

Ok...back to the news.  After Eric and I watched a stand-up comedian online, I was getting ready for bed (ok, I was actually on the pot when this happened) when all of a sudden the power went out!  This happened around 9:15.  After finishing my "business", we tried to flip the breaker.  But it wasn't flipped off to begin with.  So we went outside and realized that it was just three houses that turned off.  Everyone else was fine!  Since I was already in the mood to go to bed, that's what I did.  Gavin stayed asleep but I covered him with more blankets. 

Apparently, our three houses shared a circuit breaker that busted and they had to replace the whole system.  They said it would take 2 hours but they didn't finish till 2:30 a.m.  Imagine lying in bed with all the lights off and with complete silence then all of a sudden, ALL of the lights come on and ALL of the electrical noises (that you don't necessarily hear until they're gone) come on....at 2:30 IN THE MORNING!  Thankfully it didn't get that cold that night.  And our sweet neighbor across the street offered to have us stay at their house with the heat!  I love our neighborhood!

Just had to share the news....

Gone Too Long

I know it's been almost a week since I've update this blog!  I AM SO SORRY!  Where shall I even begin?!

Thursday night was our church's Christmas Banquet. 

Friday at work, it was a madhouse!  We cleaned ALL day!  I was not at my desk that much at all.  Even though I didn't get any paperwork done, the back shipping room looks AMAZING!  Friday night, I relaxed after such a busy day.

All that cleaning must've stuck with me because we cleaned our house Saturday morning and afternoon.  That night, we had our Christmas party at our house.  We had a lot of fun.  Dinner was shared with friends and we demolished a fried turkey!  Afterwards we played White Elephant Gift Exchange.  Eric ended up with a kitty cat notepad and a $20 giftcard to Starbucks.  I got creatine powder and a $20 giftcard to Panera Bread (my favorite)!  Then we played games and had more friends come over. 

Sunday looked promising of a beautiful day but it rained by the time we got to church.  After church, we went to Eric's work's Christmas party.  If you forgot, he works for a children's theater company called Stages Productions.  We went to the owner's house for lunch and she made EVERYTHING from scratch.  We had Italian Wedding soup, lasagna, and red velvet cake.  Absolutely amazing!  After that, we went to one store for a little Christmas shopping then went home.  I think I took a nap at 6:00 because I was so exhausted.  I honestly believe I could've went to bed at that time but I knew I had other things to do.

Last night, Gavin was such in a cuddling mood.  He laid with Eric, watching Cars of course, and eating crackers.  I should've grabbed my camera but I didn't want to make any sudden moves or the child will run!  That's about it for the past 5 days.  

Music

Music means a lot to my husband and me.  It speaks what we want to say.  It explains our experiences and how we feel.  It beautifies our statements with melody. 

In my opinion, my husband and I have two songs.  The first one is The Day Before You by Rascal Flatts.  Interestingly enough, it was written by Matthew West; a popular Christian artist who wrote it for his wife.  This song was played as our first dance at our wedding:

   

Our second song is Love Is Not A Fight by Warren Barfield.  Eric sang this song during our wedding ceremony.  I wanted him to sing to me but I didn't want to know what song he was singing.  He did an amazing job and I will always remember that!  This song was also featured in a faith-based movie called Fireproof with Kirk Cameron. 

Those two songs represent my relationship with Eric.  But there's also another song that speaks even closer to my heart because it's about my relationship with the Lord.  I couldn't find a video so I will just post the lyrics.  This song makes me tear-up everytime I hear it.  It's sung by Watermark (a Christian husband/wife group that is no longer).  LOVE her voice!  If you're interested, call me and I'll play it for you! :)

It is time that we give you honor

This is the day to give you

All the praise that you deserve

Yes, it's time to give you honor

This is the day to give you

All the praise that you deserve

A Holy King, of everything

Inhabit the praises of Your people

A Holy King, of everything

Inhabit the praises of Your people

Have we waited far too long to surrender

Forgive us Oh God the years

We failed to seek your face

Oh Lord, your mercy turns us into

Grateful people

We can't seem to find the words

So take our lives that there might be enough

To tell you how grateful

Lord, we are grateful

Bless the Lord, oh my soul

(He has done great things)

And all that is within me

(He had done great things)

Bless His holy name

When I do think of ALL the great things the Lord has done, I am nothing but grateful that He chose to bless me! 

Christmas Parties

Believe it or not, I have 4 Christmas parties to attend within the next seven days.  Thursday night, our church is throwing a Christmas banquet at a nearby country club.  Saturday night, we're having our 4th annual Christmas party hosted by the Koroknay, LaChance and Lister family.  Sunday night, Eric's work is having their party.  Then Monday afternoon, my work is having a Christmas luncheon.  Phew....I'm exhausted just thinking about it. 

Tonight, Gavin was so snuggly.  After he ate, he cuddled with me while drinking his milk.  Then he cuddled with Eric while watching Cars.  After his bath, he didn't fuss much at all when going to bed.  I like watching him trying to get comfortable in his crib before closing his eyes.  He'll grab his teddy bear and his blanket and squeeze them both tightly.  We have one cute kid!

Weekend Overload

We definitely overpacked our weekend!  It was full of concerts, events, performances, family and sleepovers. 

Friday night, we rushed home after work to feed Gavin.  We then headed to our nephew's Christmas concert at his school.  The only thing that kept Gavin quiet throughout the whole concert was to have him draw on paper.  So we were in the waaaay back trying not to make much noise.  When Dylan came out with his class for their performance, Eric was jumping up and down, waving his hands like a wild man to get his attention.  Later Dylan said that he wasn't allowed to wave back but he did see Uncle E. 

Saturday morning, Gavin and I attended a baby shower for my brother's wife.  It was a jungle theme and my mom did a great job with the decorations.  We couldn't stay too long because we had tickets to see Eric's show, Santa's Holiday Revue.  We rushed down there just so Gavin could get scared from the loud music and just scream in the audience.  Needless to say, we missed his show and stayed in the lobby till it was done.  We went home for a quick nap then Dylan came over later to spend the night.  Let's just say that Dylan didn't want to sleep that night and Gavin got up really early today.

Sunday morning, we took Dylan to church with us.  On our way home, everyone was tired.  Heather picked up Dylan and the remaining three took a two hour nap!  When we woke up, we enjoyed our happy little boy!  He was cracking us up because he has a new "look".  It's kind of like a frontal evil eye.  He'll put his head down but still stare at you with his eyes.  The main event tonight (other than me kicking my sister-in-law's bootahtay in fantasty football) was putting up our Christmas Tree for the first time in the official Koroknay home.  Here are some pictures:

Before we put up our Christmas Tree

The Koroknay Christmas Tree

 Is that Gavin's "Baby's 1st Christmas" ornament?

Nope....it's Eric's! 

Here's Gavin's....

 

Feeling Free

Today I'd like to include an excerpt from a book I'm reading.  It explains what I'm going through right now and for some reason it says it better than I could explain. 

"....Your freedom is now dependent on your forgiveness.  Coming to this conclusion usually takes us a while.  We see all kinds of dangers and risks involved in forgiving others.  For instance, what they did was really wrong, whether they admit it or not.  They may not even be sorry about it.  They may feel perfectly justified in their actions, even going so far as to blame you for it.  But forgiveness doesn't absolve anyone of blame.  It doesn't clear their record with God.  It just clears you of having to worry about how to punish them.  When you forgive another person, you're not turning them loose.  You're just turning them over to God, who can be counted on to deal with them His way.  You're saving yourself the trouble of scripting any more arguments or trying to prevail in this situation.  It's not about winning and losing anymore.  It's about freedom.  It's about letting go."
"....But how do you do it?  You release your anger and the responsibility for judging this person to the Lord.  'Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, "Vengeance is Mine, I will repay," says the Lord' (Romans 12:19)"

All of that to say I consider myself free of any past hurt or pain and a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.  I am free!

The Big News

History of Us:  Before we got married, we knew we both had accrued a lot of debt and we were ready to take on the challenge in paying it off.  Between the two of us, we had a combined number of 16 debts.  I'm not going to say how much it came to because 1. it's kind of embarrassing and 2. it's really none of your business. :)  Eric instantly became a fan of Dave Ramsey and his book Total Money Makeover.  So in August 2008, the total money makeover began for us.

Today, I am proud to say that we are down to ONE debt...the house aside.  Just one credit card (and granted it's a big one) left to pay off!  We cannot tell you how excited we are and what kind of feeling this gives us.  We are SO close and we're hoping to pay that last credit card in one year.  Then we'll be able to pay off our mortgage quicker and then truly be debt free!

The only one we can truly thank is the Lord because He has provided for us through this whole journey.  Jehovah Jireh - The Lord will provide.  Not sure if I mentioned this before but Jehovah Jireh is engraved in our wedding bands.  It's a reminder that everything we have is because of the Lord.  He's provided for us in more ways than our monetary needs.  Our true joy is from Jesus and we want to do nothing but praise Him!

So, if you see us with a bigger smile than before it's because our load is lighter thanks be to God!  :)